So here we are, months into what was supposed to be weeks; and uncertainty looming in every direction. If you are a fan of extreme white water rafting and the thrill of unknown, exciting jolts of change; perhaps these months have been exhilarating. For most adults, I think the experience has been better described as the battered and bruised fallout of having been so carelessly tossed about, psychologically and emotionally. We’re each arrogant to assume that our lives, in particular, were somehow already difficult before now. Every grown person has personal stories of pain and triumph leading to that growth. Of course, there are those still forging their early paths, who are not yet grown and they need our support.
Is it You? Or Is it Me? The most accurate way to view your child, is as a reflection of you. Understand, I do not mean a little version of you, who you can force to live out a better life vicariously through the wisdom of your own regrets. I mean the innate energy you share because of your close bond. I mean right now, are they anxious or frustrated? Are you also anxious and frustrated but you feel certain you have done well to hide it from them?
When a child is out of sorts, fussy or obstinate; they don’t always know how to express what they are feeling. Many adults struggle to identify and recognize their own feelings; but it is a practice that will serve well being at any age. Adults and children alike just want to be understood. As we work to understand our children, we gain a unique perspective into our own inner child. Wounds that we acquired in frustration when we were little, mom sounding annoyed over a mess we made, our own regret over a fight with a sibling… All such things become a part of who we are. They teach us lessons. They can also leave us wounded if we don’t process the emotions in a healthy way. As we work to teach our own children to cope, an added and perhaps unforeseen benefit unfolds. Our own past hurts are soothed.
Talk the Talk
No parent is an expert. Life has an amazing way of reminding us. Many of us have been newly thrown into working from home, while simultaneously schooling the littles. It’s a recipe for dozens of “wait just a minute” pleas each day. On the one hand, we get to be with them; while on the other, we are all busy with our own agendas. Making time to help children through these uncertain times with confidence, is imperative to the future mental health and well being of society as a whole. The best way to connect with your child and to help them process their feelings is to simply talk with them. If they are upset or sad, walk them through those feelings. Ask them if they know why they are feeling that way. Then, ask if they know what would make them feel better. If they have no words to offer, hug them and comfort them while they work through it. Just the act of letting them know you are with them and that their emotions are valid, is priceless. It gives them a sense of safety and structure in their own world that allows them the freedom to learn and grow. Never shame or chastise them for being cranky. They already feel bad. Instead, help them explore why they feel that way, and how we can feel better. Moving through the emotions validates the child’s ability to see solutions. Many adults who struggle with anxiety or depression, do so because of an inability to see solutions.
Walk the Walk Another bi product of these strange times is the lack of outdoor play. Too many hours spend under fluorescent lights and in recirculated air is restrictive and stale on all fronts. We need fresh air and sunshine, and our children certainly do as well. Enough natural vitamin D to last all day can be gotten in 15-20 minutes of outdoor play. Kids also benefit from grounding and just being in nature. It helps calm them and resets their natural circadian rhythms.
It’s also important to nourish our children. This one can be tough. Nobody wants mealtime battles and convenient garbage is widely available. If a child’s diet is full of sugar and processed food, expect their emotional state to be sporadic. People are ready to seek out clean eating all in their own time and lectures on the matter are just annoying. For this reason I’m choosing to just encourage you to let the idea simmer on your back burner. When it comes to helping nourish our kiddos, herbs can be clutch! You could sauté up some dandelion greens, spearmint leaf, red raspberry and oat straw and offer it to your adorable little person. Or, you can give them 10 drops of an organic incredible tasting extract to help meet their nutritional needs. Our Nature’s Nurture is a blend of safe and effective herbs that will benefit the whole family. If you or your little ones struggle with nervous energy or anxiousness, we have some blends that can make a real difference. Nervine is an herbal blend that helps calm and tone the nervous system. It soothes irritability and stimulates repair within the nervous system. The nervous system contains the sensory organs and offers support to sensory functions. It promotes restorative sleep and relaxation. Don’t Worry is an extract you will want to keep in your purse or anywhere else for easy access! Anxiety can be debilitating and this blend can help promote focus and calmness. When you or your little one feel the anxiety coming on, or stress is overwhelming you, take out your Don’t Worry extract. Take a dose and practice deep breathing as you wait for the herbs to take effect. Joy is a fantastic extract for those struggling with feeling down and depressed. This blend of organic herbs is designed to lift your spirits and help you see the good that surrounds you. Nature’s Nurture herbal extract blend puts together the best quality herbs to help nourish your body. No need to take processed multivitamins that are filled with synthetic ingredients and fillers. This blend has exactly what your body needs.
You’re Doing Great
Parenting is the most important role for those who have chosen to be such. Parents the world over shape the future through the love they pour into, or withhold from, the next generation. Our littles are individuals. They aren’t becoming; they are. They are individuals who have experienced the waves of fear and change most other individuals have recently. Check in on them. Talk to them regularly about their feelings and how to navigate those feelings in a way that teaches them life long coping skills. As an added caveat, you might find yourself healing from unresolved emotions along with them.
The Future is Love, – Roots to Remedies